i just google imaged poop.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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