I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
