He uses pillows to masturbate.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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