Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
