This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
