Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
