O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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