dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
