omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
