belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Farmville is her only friend.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
