i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
