so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
