Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
