whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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