I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
home. puking in laundry basket.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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