There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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