apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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