oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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