why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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