The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
