on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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