genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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