Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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