It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize