If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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