The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
