So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
