Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
