I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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