If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
