I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
