New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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