I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You can't just leave with hair like that
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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