who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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