I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize