Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
