Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
