sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
