so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
