i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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