i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
