Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Randomize
