I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
