Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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