Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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