He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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