I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
