I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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