I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
