tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
