her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
