I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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