i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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