He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
