I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
