I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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