we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
