it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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