I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
