so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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