I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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