and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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