i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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