Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize