Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
