we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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