so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
