btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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