I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
