how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
